Tomorrow I will lead a bible study for the kids at Cessnock Alive! I will admit that I’m a little nervous because it is the first one I’ve ever written up.
From the start, we decided on creating a program that’s meant to challenge the kids. And after lots of time mulling over you, a topic we chose on struck a chord with me: identity. My heart dropped a little, and I writhed on the inside deciding it was too soon for me to think about it further because all I could think about was you – about how you didn’t know who you were, and what you wanted, and what you believed. By some twist of fate (it was absolutely in God’s timing), I was assigned to write a study on it.
As it was decided, I laughed nervously and explained that the topic just hit a little hard. We had a small laugh about it, and I was determined to make it a good study. I had so many ideas pop up in my head (like the communications student I am); lighter concepts attributed to identities like age and hobbies, to heavier ones like sexuality and filial expectation, filled my head. I knew I couldn’t shy away from talking about these, but I was still a little scared considering whether the kids were ready to tackle identity and whether they have intently thought about who they are.
Perhaps it was too personal for me to have written the study. As I write this, I am sitting among a few friends who are chatting away and listening to music, in a lovely house in Guildford. There are so many visual and auditory distractions, yet I still think about the weight of identity. I know who I am and I have no trouble talking about it with others, but I keep thinking about you – what you went through and what you’re going through.
I really hope that you are finding answers, and not answers that you are looking for, but answers that are real. And I hope all the more that you don’t put so much emphasis in your brokenness. Because you are so much more than that. I see good in you and so much more, but I know it’s complicated.
It’s always complicated, but I have faith that you have been well.
I’ve been praying everyday.
I hope you are well.
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