Today I saw her cry

Today I saw her cry
Out of the corner of my eye;
It was only a split second
Before she noticed eyes on her,
And quickly wiped the tears
From her face with her sleeve.

She espouses an aura of happiness where ever she goes, sharing her joys in the smallest of things. She is a handful – a little chaotic and just a touch crazy, but she is well-loved. I see the effort she puts into everything and how much she gives, how she looks at her friends and how much she cherishes them. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say she has many good things going for her, but sometimes I wonder if she is okay.

There are times I catch a glimpse of someone else in her eyes. The usual warmth of her smile and the presence her personality projects, are all but present once she spaces out. Those deep eyes of hers, are unfamiliar and, appear dark and empty. Shaken out of her daze, she seems to be the same girl I know, warm smiles and all. But there’s a part of me that wonders, who is that girl? 

Surrounded by many faces,
She carries on smiling
As if her life depends on it.
Her mouth finds it easy to do,
And her eyes too,
But I wonder if she really feels
The same way.

I see her in large crowds laughing the night away, and I see her enjoying a night in winding down with a few of her friends. Her energy is a little different, but the joy she shows is the same. She is a little quieter in smaller settings, which I think many people are not used to, and she surprises people even more in one-to-one settings. She carries a blank face, very unlike her when she’s around many people, and her mind often wanders as she directs her gaze outwards. Because she’s so different, because her demeanour is far tamer, people believe something is wrong because she doesn’t have much to say. She gets a little upset that she is misunderstood, but she never mulls on it for very long.

People that don’t know her well assume she is uninterested and difficult to talk to, but that’s far from the case. Many don’t often realise that once she opens her mouth, there is an irreplaceable warmth and familiarity about her. And I think that’s part of her charm, that she can be so unexpectedly thoughtful and that little bit mysterious too. She has a personality, and I see many admirers interested in figuring her out as if she were some puzzle you could play with.

Dressed up or down,
She knows how to draw
Attention from a crowd.
She loves the attention,
But at the same time,
There’s a certain modesty
Which craves no attention at all.

I see the way she looks when someone mentions doing something a little ill-advised. A small glint in her eye appears, revealing her wild side. You only ever see that look for a moment before she comes back down to Earth again. It’s hard to believe a person can appear responsible but also seem so fun to be around. She is like this walking contradiction that only makes sense because it’s her. She understands how to socialise with different people well – I have seen her in different places and with different crowds, and the way she interacts with the world around her brings new meaning to being in the world but not of the world.

I could describe a million things about her, but I would end up right where I started – not knowing a thing. Understandably, she is so often misunderstood; sometimes I wonder if I can ever really know her. I just hope that being misunderstood all the time doesn’t get her down.

And I pray she knows that she is loved.