If you asked me what I see
When I look at you,
I’d stifle an awkward smile
And cast
downward
eyes.
A little boy,
Lost amongst the trees,
In a forest of anguish
And expectation.
The temptation you
So desperately crave
Could never quite reach
Anyone’s ears.
You ask me again,
You, a little boy,
Alone in the world,
Tugging at my arm from
the other side of the room.
You have my attention –
You have always had my attention.
You’re unwell,
And so small in my lap;
You refrain from
Tossing and turning,
But find yourself lost
At the end of the bed.
What am I supposed to make of that?
Your clever stupidity
Masks more contradictions –
Friction in the rare interaction
We share.
Words no longer come easy,
Nor does suspending my thoughts
Of concern for you.
Yet, lyrical stutters
Can only express
The smallest of
Frustrations.
Although, the most loving thing to do Would be to watch over you
Would be to stay away from you –
Of course I still care,
But my silent words
Could never heal
Your invisible scars.
You are still learning to find your feet
In a world that isn’t yours,
And I do understand –
It’s just so hard to watch you
Struggle and fight,
But I believe you will pull through.
In another time,
I’d speak with patience,
If you let me.
I’d hang on to every word,
If you speak to me.
I’d try to help,
If you trust me.
I’d be here for you,
If you want me.
But you don’t.
Note: a rework of an old poem of mine.
水 