Much Thought, Little Time

Long time no talk!

Oh, I guess that’s a little inaccurate depending on how you look at it. I saw you two weeks ago, but it feels like it has been a while. I hope you’re well!

When I see your stories on Instagram and the creative things you’ve been working on, I just get so excited because I really love seeing the things you do. I remember the night after visiting the theatre and hearing about all your creative ideas as we sat in the park eating dessert. It was a lovely night and it is a memory I remember very fondly. I’m not sure if you have noticed, but when you talk about the things you love, your face lights up and I see so much… joy. I wonder if it is a night you remember fondly too, though, I would understand if you had felt otherwise.

Your creative projects also give me a reason to message you, haha. I do enjoy the conversations we have online, albeit a little inconvenient to respond to because you are too good of a conversationalist – they are definitely conversations more suitable to be done in person, not online! But, I am willing to respond to every message of yours because I love hearing from you. It just means having to take a bit more of my time so that I can put more thought into my messages to you.

As for me… Today, I’ve been a little distracted. I tried to get a little head-start on some writing, but I was indirectly bound to a social commitment involving a lot of movies; I had some party planning to tend to; and I have just been jamming to music in the time I have tried to write. At the moment, I am still jamming to music in my room, while I slowly make progress on my never-ending deadlines. Lately, I’ve had this strange compulsion to dance, but I don’t have anyone to dance with, and I certainly don’t know why I’d even want to.

I’m guess I am just full of excitement, especially now that I’m hosting a party for new and old friends. It’s going to be on Saturday, but it feels so far into the future. I can’t wait! You know, I’m not the type to get excited over these things – I mean, I don’t get excited about Christmas… though I guess Christmas is a special case. Do you feel like the meaning of Christmas has been lost? Sometimes I do and it makes me a little sad that it has become some glorified day used as a marketing ploy. But I still enjoy Christmas and the time I get to reflect, to worship and to be reminded of the hope we have.

The grandeur of parties and sparkly lights
Lifts me high to see the good,
But thoughts of a sordid world
Imbued with sin, brings me back
To an immoral reality.

The world we live in is a strange place. There are so many people searching for something more, people who settle for less, and people who have no hope. It is a sombre truth, really. Thoughts like these always push me to be more mission-minded. I suppose a small lifetime thinking about the state of the world has pressured me to “grow up” in many ways. It feels like… having the weight of the world on your shoulders. However, at the same time, I know it’s just the love I have for people – I know that I can’t save anyone and it’s not my job to. There is nothing I can contribute to my salvation, but I find it too easy to be chained to responsibilities. I suppose that’s why people always assume I’m 24. “You’re mature for your age.” It has been an uphill battle in trying to fight the desire to do something, so I revel in seeing how God works through others.

I wonder if the world will look better tomorrow. And I’ll talk to you again soon.

Jaimee.

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