Trepidation

Last Monday morning, she sluggishly woke up to the first alarm she had set for the day. Her phone read, 7:30 am. Snoozing the alarm, she rolled over to catch a few more minutes of rest before the day shook her awake and demanded she works. Alarms went off at 15 minute intervals, never quite letting her get the little bit more rest she desired, until her phone read, 8:15 am. It was time to arise, whether she liked it or not.

Okay Google, play 2 / 14 by The Band CAMINO.

Sweeping her bed hair aside, she drew the blinds of the window as the music carried her mood higher, and began bracing herself for the long day ahead. She made a mental checklist of the tasks which needed to be done before the day’s end, and jumped out of bed to the tune of Shawn Mendes’, Wonder. It was just that kind of day – an exciting new day awaited her.

One thing she was really excited about was catching up with a friend she hadn’t seen since last year. They had tried to catch up a few times, but they always cancelled. Of course, for good reason, so she never held it against him and was glad they could see each other again. She had gotten off to a good start of the day, with music and a slow rise, but she couldn’t shake the strange feeling that she wouldn’t be meeting him today.

You can’t keep indulging in all this trepidation.

She put on headphones to drown out the doubts about her plans after class and left home to the tune of Tom Speight’s, Heartshaker. The warmth of the sun’s rays tickled her skin, providing just enough warmth that she no longer felt the wind’s influence. It was a good day.

She walked into the lecture hall, placing her bag down in the third row and prepared for class. Out of the corner of her eye, and through the reflection of her laptop, she saw him walk in, completely averting his eyes from where she sat. During the course of the lecture, he had whispered something to her friend.

The plans she made in advance, and had eagerly been waiting for, were stolen just like that. The previous times he forfeited plans, she could overlook and forgive – but this time, it was harder not to take personally. She gave a side-glare to the boy who averted his eyes. Her glasses only slightly toned down the intensity, yet, her glare was still cold as ice, and certainly more than enough to change the air about a room.

Look at me, you coward.

But he would never give her the satisfaction.

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