If the past two weeks of my life were a bowl of cereal,
It would be as if a toddler had grabbed
All the different types of cereal from the pantry
And added every single one to his bowl;
And he would clumsily spill a little
Onto the countertop each time he went back for more.
The last few weeks have been an absolute whirlwind, making a mess of my matters—as if someone was quickly flipping through film genres on Netflix to find something you’d want to watch. In haste, I scrambled to get my affairs in order and organised a number of things at once. I found myself bubbling with excitement for my graduation, but lacking the patience to contain my frustrations organising a pottery class and putting together a frisbee team. It’s just so hard when people bail on something they had originally accepted, or when there is a lack of response when messaging them.
But I suppose I understand being on the other side of the conversation. I made it a point to stop busying myself with people and events I cannot commit to, so I admit that my brain has been rather used to the slow life I have embraced. When all is well in the different aspects of my life, I guess you could consider it quite bland and underwhelming. Yet, the busyness of all my spheres came rushing in at once, albeit to my detriment. I came from such uplifting spirits in celebration and comfort, to dealing with grief and impatience.
Frustration, fatigue, hunger—hanger, disappointment, in sympathy, upset, laziness, joy; all these feelings I experienced in such little time, and that time didn’t feel like my time. So I need time; time for myself to properly spend with my god and to rest.
And after a long fortnight of emotionally challenging events, I was granted the joy of spending my Sunday evening whisked away from the rest of the world, rewatching this year’s Eurovision Song Contest on a giant beanbag with my person. It was a much-needed rest after my all worlds collided together at once. Though, I still need a little more time to recharge.
Right now, I’m suffering from a mild case of grumpiness and introversion. So friends, when I’m ready to come out again, I guess I’ll let you know.
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