Is it wrong to want to be heard?
Do you mean what you say
When you tell me,
You love me no matter what?
I hear the words from your mouth,
And see your optimistic smile,
But feel the uncomfortable tension
When you take my hand in yours.
You tell me it’s safe here
In this warm little house,
And welcome me to a place,
Where my voice feels mute
In an unforgiving vacuum wave.
My frantic bids for connection
Fall upon unwilling and deaf ears
During rare times I share my pain
That your loved ones have caused.
I am met with your hostile eyes
And a frost-bitten shoulder
As you try to defend their honour.
Is it wrong to want to be seen?
Do I need to be like you—
To walk and talk like you,
To gain your acceptance
And (un)conditional love?
Because I see you with your friends,
As all eyes watch me from afar,
Waiting in watchful anticipation
For me to erase my face and conform.
So can you tell me why
I must be perfect in your eyes,
To be fully seen and accepted—
Why is it wrong to think differently?
By all means, please;
Continue to toss me aside
And invalidate my pain.
Is it wrong to want to be loved?
My friends who you know as sinners,
Show me the thing you call grace,
While you sit on your throne
Veiled in delicate white lace.
They are the ones to comfort me
During the pain and the stress,
And when I feel like a screw-up,
They soothe the bitterness,
Encouraging me to do my best.
We all have coloured opinions
That paint a beautiful picture
Of the world God intended,
But they still mix mud
Onto a tainted canvas.
Yet, I would rather eat with the sinners
Than try to appease the ones
Who reject my abiding pain,
Eating merrily amongst themselves,
Thinking I am solely to blame.
Is this what (un)conditional love is?
If I make a mistake,
Will you still love me?
Because your accusatory eyes
Over the spreading distance
Tell me otherwise.
Am I the only one fighting to change this culture?
水 
It seams that this text seams to struggle with the human condition.
On one side you have trust and yet feelings and experiences abolish the trust you have placed. In short communication and understanding makes way for trust. It’s much like faith. You put your faith in something you can’t see or understand but you seek to understand.
Love is similar, seeking to understand yet challenging not to loose yourself. Asking the question why am I feeling this way and experiencing it to your partner. Asking the question why to them is another way of probing the question.
If you want some book recommendations I can probably find some.
I hope to write something longer and more thaught through than this. Your not alone.
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