This year, I’ve lived through my first redundancy, moments of debilitating grief, and much more. There have been times that weren’t easy at all, but it is a great joy to look back on the happy moments I thought I had lost to anxious rumination and share that with you.
A few years ago, I started recording one-second clips of my life, every day. What began as an outlet to satisfy my desire to create has become way more meaningful than a vanity project. This orderly potage of one-second clips is like a video diary to remind me of the things that have happened, and it helps me praise God all the more.
When you’re living life with a grey filter over your eyes, it can be an impossible task to see how God has created a vivid world of incredible beauty and wonder. How do you perceive colour when you’re living in a grey world? And even if you know there’s a filter applied, how do you turn it off? Maybe it’s a matter of remembering how certain emotions feel, but maybe it’s more than that.
Yesterday, someone pointed out how energetic and emotive I looked after going to the bathroom. It was something so small—a really good bathroom break—that lifted my mood immensely, but I didn’t even realise this at the time. So maybe sometimes, it just takes another person to point out how you’re feeling in the moment to break through the grey haze.
You look happy.
I look at the first half of this year with much gladness in my heart. But make no mistake, there have been really dark periods I didn’t think I could make it through. So I’m thankful for the snippets I’ve recorded every day. I am reminded of the ways people have shown up for me, even during the times I felt nothing but isolated. In this season of many hills and valleys, God continues to teach me how big His love is for the world and how to better appreciate the moments, people and places around me.
As I look back on the memories I’ve made this year—the highs, lows and silver linings—I’m thankful for the ways in which God has reminded me of His faithfulness. Sometimes, trusting in His plan for me is still hard. But in His grace, time and time again, God never fails to remind me of His great and unending love for us.
Had I not chosen to continue this habit of capturing one second of my day, every day, I genuinely don’t believe I’d have been able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. As I can now watch these unfiltered memories as God had intended them to be, I hope you’ll enjoy it with me and see how colourful life can really be.
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