I first met you in a karaoke room that was too big for our group, and under different circumstances. You sang Olivia Rodrigo’s drivers license, exuding this kind of passion and fullness; so much so that I wondered what you’ve had to go through to express that sense of nostalgia and heartbreak. At the time, I felt it was somewhat ironic in many ways.
And past our meet cute, our relationship steadily grew over years of coincidental and intentional interactions. I have enjoyed the sushi dates, pragmatic conversations about ministry and theology, and the vulnerability in sharing about your struggles. Just thinking about you makes my heart so full. You have been one of the few who have been a soothing presence because of your consistency and honesty. Thank you for loving me. I don’t know how the next few months will go for us—they will probably be harder on you than me—but I’m still excited about how God is shaping us and where He is taking us. The future is rather uncertain, but I’ve never really been one to worry about that. Still, I’m hopeful we’ll be able to spend time together again, even if it means waiting months.
At a time, I waited with much anticipation that we would one day share the same last name. I have cried for you on more than one occasion. And it still breaks my heart to think about such sufferings you experienced at the mercy of someone else’s irresponsibility. The hurt was undeserved, yet you still loved and provided an incredible amount of grace in return. I have truly never despised anyone more for how they hurt you. But as I wrestle with balancing the desire for justice and the calling to forgive, I will always hold space for you to be angry, sad or whatever you need to feel without judgement. No matter what.
In a cruel twist of events, we now share the same last name. I just never thought that it would be in such circumstances as ours. It’s bittersweet thinking about how I’ve always wanted an older sister like you. You’re like the older sister who has moved out of home and has an incredibly fulfilling career, supported by the people who love you. I kind of feel like the little sister who still lives at home and misses spending time with her jiě jie. I love you very much.
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