To the Girl Who Thinks She’s Not Good Enough

To the girl who thinks she’s not good enough,

I see you. You’ve been fighting on your own for so long. And I’m sorry the ones you thought would show up, didn’t. I’m sure it was disappointing to face the people who probably didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s okay to be angry at them. Even if it was unintentional, you were still hurt, and I hope you know that’s not your fault.

It’s hard to forgive people when you’re harmed in the same ways over and over again. I promise it’s not your fault, and you don’t deserve to suffer like this. There’s nothing wrong with you. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, so I’m sorry you felt like you had to fight for people’s love. I’m sorry your time and efforts weren’t respected or appreciated, and I hope you know it’s not your fault. Because I know you.

You were the girl who had stars in her eyes and chased after the world’s beauty in an attempt to bring it home to your loved ones in photographs and watercolour postcards. They were attracted to your golden glow and your overflowing love. Isn’t it funny how they all leave once they’ve extinguished your flame? These days your eyes seem so vacant, like your mind is in a faraway land searching for respite. Please come home.

I know I am just one person, but I will make a home in my heart for you and make sure you’re treated right this time. I will be your knight and defend you from the thieves who only seek to steal your light. You weren’t asking for too much—perhaps you were just asking the wrong people. You will be safe from those who take and take and take. For I will teach you to stand your ground so you remember your worth.

I know your type. You try and try and try, and all seems to fail. But it’s not your fault you were hurt. They don’t seem to understand how deeply they’ve scarred you. You don’t need to earn their second-rate love because you are already deserving of so much more. Therefore, I hope you know you are loved just the way you are. And if that doesn’t convince you, I hope what Jesus went through reminds you that you are loved beyond compare.

After all, Jesus saw you and decided he wanted to spend eternity with you. When you were out in the wilderness, the Good Shepherd chased after you and made you clean. You have always been enough. Pay no mind to those who made you feel less than whole. Feel sorry they weren’t able to overcome their baggage, and forgive them for all the agony they caused. I know your heart is big enough to forgive.

Forgive them, but never ever let anyone treat you like you are worthless again. You’ve never needed to prove yourself to be loved in return. The stars that once floated in your eyes already tell me you were destined for greater things. I know you’ll get back up again and go on to greater things. Because one day, God willing, those stars may align. And I pray to God that they do for someone like you.

Wherever God decides to take you, whether it’s on your own or with someone else, I hope you never settle. May He bring an extraordinary man who complements your God-given qualities with his own but is still on board with your quirky disposition and finds you fun to be around. He will be the leader who initiates rather than reacts—a man who takes responsibility and leads with a high degree of integrity, transparency and consideration of you. I hope he will be a humble man who unashamedly owns up to his mistakes and apologises for the times he may hurt you.

I imagine he is someone who has courageously confronted himself in the mirror, flaws and all. Surely he will be a soft man who is unafraid of telling you how they feel, of “big emotions”, and of challenges. Certainly, a kind man who considers your feelings and prioritises you. Undoubtedly, a man of integrity who is intentional about you and won’t lead you to second guess their love. And he will love you with Jesus as his guide. They won’t play with your heart, that I am certain of.

I really do hope you meet someone who truly means it when they say, “I love you”. I hope they will be someone who supports their words with genuine gestures rather than excuses of indecision or radio silence. Someone who is generous and doesn’t think twice about calling you to hear your voice. A good man. A God-fearing man. And honest to God, I hope no one has to suffer the same fate as mine.

May the one you find never engage in repeated deceit, and may they desire to grow with you. I hope he’s honest about their feelings and has the courage to be vulnerable. I know it’s hard to find a man like that in this day and age. But I hope you never settle just because you’re lonely. I know I never will. Don’t settle for half a man who deletes messages off their phone to hide their betrayals, slander, and everything else that happened behind your back. God created you to be loved and cherished, not disrespected and neglected.

Please don’t lower your standards for some mediocre man who cannot love you or provide for your future family. Please love and respect yourself more to know you deserve more.

Can we talk?

*deleted*

I deserve better.