Among the many good things that may happen in your life, I’m grieved to tell you that the bad will be overwhelmingly likely to outweigh the good. On a daily basis, atrocities occur around the world, and hearing about such things only tears down the illusion of the “good world” you want to believe exists. For every soft interaction a child may receive from kind strangers, you will find bloodshed, abuse, and so much more. But I don’t blame the people who choose to remain ignorant.
Still, to that I say, isn’t that such a cowardly way to live? In ignorance?
In the past couple of years, riddled with lies and betrayals—the paranoid questionings of my reality—it was already a struggle to find joy and keep it. No matter how hard I tried, joy very rarely made an appearance in those grey days. After all, there were many more reasons to remain sad, and few reasons to be happy. During difficult times such as these, it takes tremendous courage and fortitude to be joyful. Almost an impossibility for me. But I’m glad I’ve come out the other end.
Recently, there have been more reasons than ever to give thanks. There’s just seemingly more joy to go around. From big novel adventures and exciting celebrations, to the more mundane achievements of a clean home and working on patience as I wait on the Lord (for things I won’t mention just yet), I’ve been overwhelmingly… happy? Of course, I’ve also been stressed too. The end-of-year busyness has arrived.
God has blessed my days with small joys like the sunshine, shared meals, and last-minute concert plans. Friends have felt more like friends, and it has been such a blast to genuinely walk with them as they navigate new and uncertain futures. I prefer this far more to the inferior model of “catch-up culture” we have sadly normalised (but more on that topic at a later date). God has made many a good thing, and when in abundance, joy is easy to greet at the door of our hearts.
During those times, I hope you’re not turning a blind eye to the pain and suffering around you to keep it. Because it’s a sad truth we ought to face. Bad things happen all the time, and sometimes they’re right under our noses. Who really knows the heart of your kind, but strangely mysterious, neighbour past their public persona? What of your single, yet charismatic and popular pastor? But don’t get me wrong, I am not here to sow seeds of doubt about the people in your lives.
It is true that I have been full of unwavering joy recently, but I have not turned a blind eye to the less savoury things appearing in my purview. Even good things given by God can still be stained red by evil deeds. Over the weekend, amidst the fun of fellowship and oven-baked chicken, I walked into a conversation just as the topic took a sinister turn. Confused by the lack of context and the absurdity of the spoken sentence, I pried a little further. And perhaps, wished I hadn’t.
Would it have been okay for me to never have heard such a thing?
As I was informed of the details, my confusion turned to shock, then to a boiling pot of disgust and despair. News of sexual abuse in a church. My heart sank. Talks of scandal in the alleged cover-up, the injustice, and whistleblowing were a lot to take in for a casual Sunday conversation. I was angry and held back tears as I muttered the words, “That makes me really sad“.
All of these circumstances were strange. That circle I walked into… why did I join? The small circle comprised of a couple who had come looking for a new church, and they were people I had known from a summer mission, all but lifetimes ago. And lastly, there was one other who regularly attended the church, as I did, and she had also gone on mission with us. The very church they had been talking about was one half of us had partnered with.
It’s not a good feeling being connected to someone so egregiously evil. Even loosely. He wasn’t there when we had been, and none of us had known this man, but it still left a sour taste in my mouth. It was both a happy and sad thing to think about. Because I look back fondly on the memories I have with the ones I served and those I served alongside. And luckily for me, I picked a different church mission, so the memories mostly stay intact.
But it still feels wrong, and I am deeply grieved to hear that someone has been hurt by the church yet again.
It is undoubtedly a good thing that this coveted scandal has been brought to light. I am both happy and sad. First, happy to know that there were adults who cared and fought to have this investigated; and second, sad to know that a deep pain was inflicted on everyone involved. It feels as if the church has failed once more, and that is a tragedy. Still, I know this one thing to be true. At the end of the day, no matter how devastating the circumstances, God is good.
And while that may be a steady comfort to your soul, it doesn’t always take away the hurt that was caused. We, as the church, need to do better.
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