I was emotionally attached to her. Those were the words I didn’t want to hear. If I had known an admission like that was coming, would I have blocked my ears? Tears welled up in my eyes and streaked down my face hearing those words. I was justifiably angry and deeply grieved. I went intoContinue reading “Words I Didn’t Want To Hear”
Category Archives: reflections
2024
I regret a lot of my 2024. I spent so long begging to be loved—begging for a sliver of people’s time and presence. I’ve stayed in relationships with people who, frankly, make me feel less than. And I am ashamed it took me so long to recognise that I allowed it to happen over andContinue reading “2024”
Okay
Four weeks Four weeks ago, if you asked me how I felt, I could not provide an answer. I received an onslaught of messages, each time reminding me that I was not okay. And there were tears every time I opened my phone. Among the rage and the apathy, I was overcome by an unconscionableContinue reading “Okay”
Se Souvenir
This year, I’ve lived through my first redundancy, moments of debilitating grief, and much more. There have been times that weren’t easy at all, but it is a great joy to look back on the happy moments I thought I had lost to anxious rumination and share that with you. A few years ago, IContinue reading “Se Souvenir”
Ugly Duckling
Do you know what it’s like to grow up in a place where no one is like you? To purposefully be made to feel out of place because of the way you look? Primary school was like being an ugly duckling raised in a flock of ordinary ducklings, and we all know how that storyContinue reading “Ugly Duckling”
Love Letter
What happens when the world tells you you’re too much, not enough, too aggressive, too quiet, too standoffish for having boundaries, or too nosy for caring about people? And when you look inward to commit to changing your behaviour, are they satisfied? At some point along the way, after several complaints about our behaviour, doContinue reading “Love Letter”
Treading Shallow Water
Do you know what it’s like to have weights tied to your arms and legs, only to be told to tread water for as long as possible? These things will pass, and it will be for the better. I’m tired. It’s like the world wants to see me drown. Maybe it would be better ifContinue reading “Treading Shallow Water”
Modern-Day Malaise and Marmalade
Mondays aren’t usually people’s favourite day of the week. They’re muddled with the feelings of slothfulness when begrudging bodies awaken from their weekend benders. But I don’t mind Mondays. For they reset my body clock and remind me what day of the week it is. It’s a time for making plans and organising the weekContinue reading “Modern-Day Malaise and Marmalade”
Calendars
Calendars are fantastic when you know how to use them. I thrive on keeping my calendar updated because it’s incredibly satisfying to know everything is organised. Before everyone’s lives were uprooted and we were plunged into lockdown, my planners kept me going. I had all events and appointments marked, accurate to the quarter hour. AndContinue reading “Calendars”
Small and Mighty
Two nights ago, I was feeling pretty bummed out. I needed to distract myself from my worries, and it didn’t feel like a Netflix night. I wanted to see my friends. But it just so happens that we get busier as we get older, and it’s harder to catch your loved ones, even if onlyContinue reading “Small and Mighty”
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