It has been quite the feat to scale the tall walls of my waking. Each time I suffer a relapse into unwanted memoirs of misery, my breath shortens its cadence, and my heartbeat runs afar. In my distress, I send desperate prayers to God, begging Him to relieve me of this cup. But the reliefContinue reading “Feats and Defeats, Distractions and Delights”
Tag Archives: feelings
Are you happy with Carlotta?
I thought I was over being angry, and bitter, and vengeful. But something happened on a Monday night recently, painfully reminding me of a slight against my person. It brought me back to that dangerous thought loop of cognitive incongruence—the agonising uncertainty of whether the betrayals I encountered were real or imagined. I thought IContinue reading “Are you happy with Carlotta?”
Did I Ever Mean Anything to You
Yesterday, two people I love got married. She was a girl I met just after I finished high school, and he was someone I met during my first year of university. I met each of them in different places for different reasons, so it was odd to hear that they had connected many years later.Continue reading “Did I Ever Mean Anything to You”
Lover Girl
We’ve travelled another year around the sun, and now we’re here. It’s Valentine’s Day. Just another day of bittersweet feelings. Seeing love and loving that love for others, but painfully remembering that you don’t have it. Funnily enough, you had someone to share life with last year, yet today is the second Valentine’s Day inContinue reading “Lover Girl”
Words I Didn’t Want To Hear
I was emotionally attached to her. Those were the words I didn’t want to hear. If I had known an admission like that was coming, would I have blocked my ears? Tears welled up in my eyes and streaked down my face hearing those words. I was justifiably angry and deeply grieved. I went intoContinue reading “Words I Didn’t Want To Hear”
To the Girl Who Thinks She’s Not Good Enough
To the girl who thinks she’s not good enough, I see you. You’ve been fighting on your own for so long. And I’m sorry the ones you thought would show up, didn’t. I’m sure it was disappointing to face the people who probably didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s okay to be angry at them.Continue reading “To the Girl Who Thinks She’s Not Good Enough”
Okay
Four weeks Four weeks ago, if you asked me how I felt, I could not provide an answer. I received an onslaught of messages, each time reminding me that I was not okay. And there were tears every time I opened my phone. Among the rage and the apathy, I was overcome by an unconscionableContinue reading “Okay”
Lost
How do you grieve the loss of a loved one? I don’t think my heart is strong enough to sift through the pain. Memories flicker by in my mind’s eye like a camera reel showing the good, the bad, and the deafening silence. When thinking about you, all the hurt you’ve inflicted on me isContinue reading “Lost”
Walk in Love
I was blessed to have joined a new bible study group this year. The leaders have really emphasised this group as a church—a place where we do life together and bear each other’s burdens while sharing the joys. And even more so because they welcomed us into their home. Every week, we share a mealContinue reading “Walk in Love”
Ugly Duckling
Do you know what it’s like to grow up in a place where no one is like you? To purposefully be made to feel out of place because of the way you look? Primary school was like being an ugly duckling raised in a flock of ordinary ducklings, and we all know how that storyContinue reading “Ugly Duckling”
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