frustration

A Sick Woman’s Lament

I AM BEDRIDDEN AND UPSET AND LAMENTING I COULDN’T LAST THE FINAL 13 DAYS OF THIS YEAR WITHOUT FALLING ILL BECAUSE I WAS SO CLOSE TO THIS UTTERLY MEANINGLESS STREAK OF HEALTH SO I MUST SETTLE ON SAYING I HAVE BEEN THE PICTURE OF HEALTH FOR A MERE 352 DAYS AND NOT A YEAR.

Last Laugh

Is it a normal response to wish ill will on the people who have wronged you? I used to think that immoral satisfaction in seeing people struggle was normal. After making jests at my expense or choosing to not heed my warning, it was indeed the irony that made such situations humorous. And in myContinue reading “Last Laugh”

Will

Is it normal to keep conceding your dreams for the sake of the greater good? Is this what God meant when telling us to die to ourselves? When the outcomes of my sacrifices involve so much grief and frustration, it leads me to question whether I’ve been living the right way. And drawing the lineContinue reading “Will”

Rewired

What happens when life comes at you Like a baseball bat to the body, Dangerously rearranging your insides As if it were mismatched clockwork cogs? Your body is brought to its feet, Still upright and standing, Badly battered and bruised—The scars remind you that you are alive. Yet they don’t see the damage And whatContinue reading “Rewired”

Unreliable

When people let you down in a lengthy string of offences, it’s difficult to rely on them when you need help. In the past few months, I’ve been spread out so thinly—a consequence of distractions and misplaced priorities, no doubt. There were weeks of bodily stress manifesting in an onslaught of ulcers in my mouth,Continue reading “Unreliable”

Headaches and Sudden Awakenings

I woke up from a poor slumber To some hearty laughter, Terribly loud and obnoxious, And irritating to my soul. I can only feel a certain rage Through the dull headache And the rude awakening I felt on short sleep. No tossing nor turning Brought me back to a slumber, Instead, bringing more resentment ForContinue reading “Headaches and Sudden Awakenings”

Designed to Play Around and Make Excuses

Some time ago, I slowly settled back into the irregular, yet familiar, rhythms of my ordinary life. Returning from a highly chaotic family holiday filled with strange twists and turns, this small moment of normalcy, if you can even call it that, has been a deeply valued gift. On second thought, no… “normal” isn’t quiteContinue reading “Designed to Play Around and Make Excuses”

Treading Shallow Water

Do you know what it’s like to have weights tied to your arms and legs, only to be told to tread water for as long as possible? These things will pass, and it will be for the better. I’m tired. It’s like the world wants to see me drown. Maybe it would be better ifContinue reading “Treading Shallow Water”