infidelity

The Third Woman

There aren’t many things that take me by surprise. Let’s call it a defence mechanism. My brain works too well at predicting patterns and identifying threats… so much so that surprises aren’t really surprises anymore. But because of the ways I’ve been hurt, that uncertainty feels like a very dangerous thing. In fact, I declinedContinue reading “The Third Woman”

I Remember You

It was just a regular Thursday night, and the first time I’d ever told you that I needed you. I found myself ashamed that I couldn’t hold it together, crying to you over the phone. I remember you. As emotions ran high, when the shock and frustration kicked in, my first thought was to figureContinue reading “I Remember You”

The Language of Consequences

It was just a mistake. I never should have done that to you. In what world would that ever be considered a proper apology? The world is watching you, you traitor. And I wonder how you would feel being compared to your father, brother, or any other role model. Would you turn up your faceContinue reading “The Language of Consequences”

May You Burn Under a Thousand Suns

Pretty face, innocent eyes, and gentle smile, Your cunning draws them in like a sly serpent, Slithering with the amusing spirit of a gypsy Wandering in the wilderness of the world, Possessing a disposition that is, oh so deceitful. Your captivating smile lures in your prey, Tempting men from their dutiful posts Like a harlotContinue reading “May You Burn Under a Thousand Suns”

I Thought I Was Crazy

This morning, memories of a bygone era popped up on my phone: a notification from Daylio. It read: New Memories 1 year ago A year. Only a year, yet it yawns like a chasm between then and now. The photo, him. A little ways off in the distance, walking down the track. We had goneContinue reading “I Thought I Was Crazy”

Diary of a Real Peter Pan Man

TW: infidelity, emotional abuse, mental illness & religious trauma. This is a work of fiction largely inspired by Diary of an Oxygen Thief (2006). Thus, any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is entirely coincidental. If you know this book, you know it is severely messed up. So please do notContinue reading “Diary of a Real Peter Pan Man”

Are you happy with Carlotta?

I thought I was over being angry, and bitter, and vengeful. But something happened on a Monday night recently, painfully reminding me of a slight against my person. It brought me back to that dangerous thought loop of cognitive incongruence—the agonising uncertainty of whether the betrayals I encountered were real or imagined. I thought IContinue reading “Are you happy with Carlotta?”

First

It’s a little strange reflecting on firsts, When thinking about lost seconds, With the boy that came before the third. My mind goes through the broken promises; The unrealised dreams, big and small; And the small lies that turned into great whites. I wish I could say the secrets weren’t a first—That they didn’t turnContinue reading “First”

Words I Didn’t Want To Hear

I was emotionally attached to her. Those were the words I didn’t want to hear. If I had known an admission like that was coming, would I have blocked my ears? Tears welled up in my eyes and streaked down my face hearing those words. I was justifiably angry and deeply grieved. I went intoContinue reading “Words I Didn’t Want To Hear”

Satisfied

Act I Look around, look around, Would it be enough to know That you are alive right now? Please look around, look around At how lucky we are, it’s true, To be alive right now. Is it enough, or do we yearn For more than we have earned In a ceaseless, endless chase? Are youContinue reading “Satisfied”