mental health

Arrhythmia and Joy on the Floor

I’ve revelled in the nostalgic pull of Spotify Wrapped in 2025. Music has always played a significant role in my life, despite having little to no talent for it. And I’ve found it somewhat ironic that I studied audio production in my tertiary years. I’m thankful to God for the wonders of music and theContinue reading “Arrhythmia and Joy on the Floor”

Sink or Swim

The life of a creative is comical, cathartic, and chronically chaotic. Oftentimes, I wonder whether there’s a way out of this kind of life. No two days are the same. Mondays are always novel—there is something to look forward to after slow Sunday afternoons, and there is little dread in the trepidation of thinking aboutContinue reading “Sink or Swim”

The Third Woman

There aren’t many things that take me by surprise. Let’s call it a defence mechanism. My brain works too well at predicting patterns and identifying threats… so much so that surprises aren’t really surprises anymore. But because of the ways I’ve been hurt, that uncertainty feels like a very dangerous thing. In fact, I declinedContinue reading “The Third Woman”

Light a Spark

I envy the men who can be gentle with their words and still have the privilege of being heard. You were given grace. And somehow, you have commanded respect from your peers, not needing to rely on aggression. Never needing to repeat yourself, and never having to justify every idea to them. I envy you.Continue reading “Light a Spark”

Last Laugh

Is it a normal response to wish ill will on the people who have wronged you? I used to think that immoral satisfaction in seeing people struggle was normal. After making jests at my expense or choosing to not heed my warning, it was indeed the irony that made such situations humorous. And in myContinue reading “Last Laugh”

Unreliable

When people let you down in a lengthy string of offences, it’s difficult to rely on them when you need help. In the past few months, I’ve been spread out so thinly—a consequence of distractions and misplaced priorities, no doubt. There were weeks of bodily stress manifesting in an onslaught of ulcers in my mouth,Continue reading “Unreliable”

I Still Found Ways To Love You

My mind seems to have found an odd neural pathway I thought was long gone. Destroyed out of self-preservation and unwillingness to put myself in similar situations as I once was. A state of overwhelm after being subjected to an onslaught of information, with little time to process it. It’s a constant battle to outpaceContinue reading “I Still Found Ways To Love You”

Diary of a Real Peter Pan Man

TW: infidelity, emotional abuse, mental illness & religious trauma. This is a work of fiction largely inspired by Diary of an Oxygen Thief (2006). Thus, any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is entirely coincidental. If you know this book, you know it is severely messed up. So please do notContinue reading “Diary of a Real Peter Pan Man”

Are you happy with Carlotta?

I thought I was over being angry, and bitter, and vengeful. But something happened on a Monday night recently, painfully reminding me of a slight against my person. It brought me back to that dangerous thought loop of cognitive incongruence—the agonising uncertainty of whether the betrayals I encountered were real or imagined. I thought IContinue reading “Are you happy with Carlotta?”

Okay

Four weeks Four weeks ago, if you asked me how I felt, I could not provide an answer. I received an onslaught of messages, each time reminding me that I was not okay. And there were tears every time I opened my phone. Among the rage and the apathy, I was overcome by an unconscionableContinue reading “Okay”